I had started training MMA in Feb 2025. I always thought my first fight would be in Thailand after training for Muay Thai for 6-8 months. But life gets in the way and our plans might not get executed as we expect them to be. Earlier the ICL tournament was supposed to happen on 25th April, but then it got postponed to 16-18th may. I had booked VIP package for the Guns n Roses concert which was supposed to happen on the same dates. I couldn’t miss either. So I asked the organizing committee to schedule mine for 18th. They agreed on call but I needed written confirmation, so I got it on WhatsApp. I wasn’t nervous during my training initially. But as the competition approached I could feel the anxiety crawling in.
The three moves I knew were, clinching, hip thrust and American arm lock. I knew I was getting into something serious, something I hadn’t done before. During training and sparring, I knew I will be safe. However, sparring is different from fighting, during sparring we try to prolong the game, there is no urgency to finish the fight. But during fight, decisions were supposed to be made within split seconds and there is a sense of urgency to finish the fight.
My team had gone on the scheduled dates for weighing in. I did mine online. As I went for the concert in Mumbai. There were 5 songs which I wanted to listen, Sweet Child o Mine, Welcome to The Jungle, Paradise City, November rain and Knocking on Heaven’s door. I reached the venue, Mahalaxmi race course, I went solo, time to time I need a solo trip clear my head. I was actually excited that I would first go the concert gather some motivation and go to the fight with my head buzzing with Rock n Roll. I needed something to stop thinking about the fight. To interrupt the pattern in my thinking.
Luckily Axl Rose was not late this time, and the concert started on time with welcome to the jungle. I had a cocktail in hand and cigarettes in my pocket. It rained earlier that day and the vip section was muddy. That didn’t stop me from getting my feet dirty to stand right in front of the stage. Seeing Slash and Axl Rose on stage from a 40 ft distance was thrilling. I was in the zone and wasn’t thinking about the fight. It lifted my spirits atleast for the time being. I also wanted to meet people there, but no opportunity presented itself for me to approach.
I wanted to numb myself with alcohol and cigarettes’ and enjoy the show. Which I did even though my brain was saying it was a mistake to smoke and drink right now. The songs were slightly different from the versions that I listen to on Spotify. The studio version is crisp whereas the live was depended on the crowd. Also Axl had put on weight but I can cut him some slack, he was getting older. Slash still looked muscular.
There were two more guitarists, 2 on keys and a very energetic drummer. The drumming was on point. Towards the end of the concert, I thought I could leave early and get back to my cousins place in time. I tried asking about the shuttle service to go outside but the organizing team didn’t know. So I went to the smoking area. I had probably only finished half of my cigarette and I could hear the roar of the crowd and and a familiar tune. This was paradise city. I threw my Cigarette in the trash can and ran back into the front to see the last song. I didn’t record all of the songs. I asked a guy standing right behind me to send me his recordings. I took his phone no. but he never sent me the videos. But its okay. I wanted to enjoy the concert. And I knew if I ever wanted to find the videos of the live concert, it would be available on the internet.
As I finished the concert and some how found the shuttle to the exit, paid 5000 for the black and yellow cab to take me back to sister’s place. I reached my sisters place and tried sleeping for a few hours as I had to reach the airport at around 4 am. I couldn’t sleep. Shit was about to get real very soon.
At some point during the concert I got a video of my friend Zoravar breaking the the nose of his opponent. I was just hoping that Ajay wouldn’t break mine. I had a trip planned with my girl friend afterwards so I had to reach the airport next morning in one piece to pick her up.
I was early for my flight, I was relieved that I had reached the airport and did the security check in in time. However, my gate had two entries A and B. My flight was from the B gate and I was sitting near Gate A and I didn’t realize it until I heard the announcement for the final call. My heartbeat raced, and I quickly stood up to queue, there was none, all the passengers had boarded the flight. As I boarded, I was informed that my seat had been upgraded from economy to premium economy. I tried sleeping in flight but couldn’t. As I landed, I asked Farm Boys MMA team what time their team member Ajay would come, they said 1. I had time so I went to my father’s friend’s house. Had break fast, smoked my last cigarette, and tried to take a nap for 1 hour. Again, no sleep.
Then I went to the venue, Talkatora stadium. My team and my opponent’s team wasn’t there yet. While I was there, I didn’t see anyone get injured and there were young boys fighting, Watching those 14 year olds fight, gave me strength and courage. I thought to myself it wouldn’t be that bad. My team had arrived and that gave me confidence a boost. They were there for me, I wasn’t alone. Soon Farm Boys MMA team arrived, and my team mates went to the organizing committee to arrange my fight.
All welter weight fights were supposed to happen on 17, but I requested mine for 18th. Suddenly they announced my name, I thought I had more time and fight would be conducted in the evening but shit just got real, and I quickly changed and got ready for the fight. I briefly bumped into Ajay and we nodded and said hello to each other. He was wearing a loose shirt. I thought this guy is a boxing coach and he is not fit. Maybe I have shot at winning. At that moment, he took his shirt off and I thought to myself, I am fucked. He packed serious muscle, same weight as me but a little shorter height means more muscle mass which equates to more strength. We entered the cage.
I can’t recall the fight accurately but I have a video, I will watch it now and try to understand what decisions I made during the fight and why.
I remember I was completely zoned in, I had felt this before mostly when I used to approach women or when I had to give exams. The refree briefs us with the rules, I didn’t know what I would do in the beginning, I had no plan of action or strategy, I try to hit him with a few punches, they land no where, I was trying to get points, then I got hit with 3 punches, I couldn’t block nor did I saw em coming, even now while watching this on video while drinking Kingfisher Ultra, I did not see em coming, so what this tells us, when you are in a fight, whoever takes the first move, should expect a counter move from the opponent and prepare accordingly.
He punched me a few more times, and I land a punch on the side with the help of some momentum. I don’t think it would have done anything. Then I heard someone say Harshit clinch, I knew my coach Nitish had said, if he is a boxer, you have to do grappling, seedhe clinch karlena, and I remember from the practice that you could take a fake shot and go into your planned move, so I attempted a fake shot clinched him, but I think my eyes were closed, because I don’t recall planning to get his arm in the clinch, I don’t know if this was an advantageous move in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu or not, but at the time of the fight, I thought I am in an advantageous move, I have got his hand, but on a second thought, now I think it is not an advantageous position, he has more control over me that way, but I also have some control over his arm movements.
At that point I gave up, I knew I could only stop him 10-15 seconds, before he plans his next move, because I had no plan of action, someone was saying niche, take him down, but I didn’t know how, I mustered up a lot of courage for the clinch, and I ran out of gas, I knew he would take me down and the only thing I could do was prolong the duration of the fight, I hit him with a few punches on his face, but there was no torque because I was at the bottom, then he hit me with two punches one from each hand, then another punch and I grab him by the neck and got him into guillotine, but he easily released himself from it, then I got hit with two punches, and I think one landed on my nose, at that point I could see blood, and I recalled my father saying, stop when it gets too extreme, you have only trained for a few months, and your opponents will be experienced, I tapped out, then he hit me with two more after tapping out, fucker, bhai hoo gay ana, tap kar toh diya, fir kyon mar raha hai.
This is where the video ends.
I have tried to recall the reasoning of my moves to the best of my ability, what I am trying to do is create a fighting strategy for myself. Understand what specific moves I will make and in which order if I am in a situation where I have to fight.
I recall getting surrounded by people, I was not in the position to understand who was who, but I recall Abhishek’s voice saying, agar kuch toota hota toh abhi kuch bol nai rahe hote, that gave me reassurance that nothing serious had happened, I am alive and I can go on a trip with my girlfriend, and I was feeling very relaxed after the fight, I had faced my fears head on. And I survived.
They took me into the medical corner and they checked and everything was fine. I was not nervous anymore, I felt relaxed and a sense of accomplishment I haven’t felt in a long time.
In retrospect, I think I gambled and played a high risk move, I had a vacation planned with my girl friend and I had to reach the airport to pick her up in one piece. Had I ended up in a hospital, my trip would have been ruined.
I think that day I earned street cred from my team. Then we collected our medals and certificates, I dropped Anurag at the train station and I went to my aunt’s place.
Few learnings
He landed 2 punches on my face even after I tapped out, I think, and I can only guess right now, that he was teaching me something, don’t be afraid to hurt someone physically. When the situations demand, you have to attack, hard.
I think I will continue training for self defense. I know I will start with BJJ, and then add Muay Thai, Russian Sambo and Krav Maga in a few years time. I know if I train for 10 years I will be good enough.
Another thing that I realized was, and I draw inspiration from my school’s teaching style, if I give tests often, then when the final exam happens I will be good and prepared. The more often I compete, the more I learn.
I also realized that I learn more in fights than I learn in sparring. If I keep competing, sooner or later I will find a winning strategy. My gut feeling says there are a combination of few moves, that can take me further as opposed to mastering every technique.
My opponent Ajay was a nice guy. He said two things to me that I will remember,
1. You have got the heart for it, and
2. He mentioned his coach said to him, don’t go easy on your students even if they are noobs.
Here is a video of the fight if you would like to watch –
Thanks for reading.
-Harshit
